About a month after YFF, I felt like I should finally send the letters to all my councilors that I had been working on for several weeks. I wrote what was in my heart for them, and then I quickly sent them off, forgetting most of what I had written.
Today I was talking to one of them, and he said that he had received my letter several weeks ago, skimmed it, and then put it up on the sun visor of his car. He too forgot it was there.
He went through several weeks of the most trying time of his life. No matter what he tried, he couldn't seem to find the answer that he was seeking. Then, one day, he felt like he should go to a special spot on the mountain above his home. Again, he sought answers. The sun was in his eyes, and he reached up to pull his visor down. There was my letter. Reading it again, the answer he had been seeking finally came. I am thankful for God's hand in our lives!
Monday, August 2, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
Check out her wares
Last night I walked down the street after having a wonderful time watching a movie at Asia's house (it was Hot Rod...We all chuckled) and felt right after the movie "ok, it's time to go" 9an unusual thought for me in that situation). So off I go, wandering the path most traveld by in the town, all of three blocks toward my home on foot. When suddenly, as I'm less than half a block from my home, the saygobedo moment hits me "go to the indian store and check out her wares." After taking a second to confirm the thought, I choose to do so.
Across the street I venture and inside I find amazing pieces of art and cultural decor, all amazingly fabricated, and yet very much out of my price range. I read this article on the wall of a woman who lost three boys in three separate wars, it was the owner's grandmother, and she started top tel me the old woman's story. Then not too long she was telling me her story. I was i there for an hour and over time she mentioned that last night was the first time she had prayed in many years, and shew wanted to find and read her patriarchal blessing. She is an interesting woman; has very deep eyes that have been hurt by years of abuse and rejection,and so she fights against the Powers that be and finds lots of misery in the quarrel.
I wasn't meant to try and change her life now, just to listen and to support her, and encourage her on her good decisions. What an interesting way to spend the rest of my night
PS. she has an upstairs apartment that is fully furnished from the nineteen thirties era, except a completely modern kitchen and everything is reupholstered, it was a beautiful apartment (also, she doesnt live in that one, she's trying to rent it)
Across the street I venture and inside I find amazing pieces of art and cultural decor, all amazingly fabricated, and yet very much out of my price range. I read this article on the wall of a woman who lost three boys in three separate wars, it was the owner's grandmother, and she started top tel me the old woman's story. Then not too long she was telling me her story. I was i there for an hour and over time she mentioned that last night was the first time she had prayed in many years, and shew wanted to find and read her patriarchal blessing. She is an interesting woman; has very deep eyes that have been hurt by years of abuse and rejection,and so she fights against the Powers that be and finds lots of misery in the quarrel.
I wasn't meant to try and change her life now, just to listen and to support her, and encourage her on her good decisions. What an interesting way to spend the rest of my night
PS. she has an upstairs apartment that is fully furnished from the nineteen thirties era, except a completely modern kitchen and everything is reupholstered, it was a beautiful apartment (also, she doesnt live in that one, she's trying to rent it)
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
This is not the last time
I'm sorry for not writing more in the last month. It's past my onw month mark and this experience has become a quest for me. Is this because of my success? No, Quite the opposite, it's because no matter how I try i feel like I am a failure; in incomplete mixture of the necessary ingredients. Is it because I lack the talents or the skills necessary to do this? No. It's that I lack the commitment. The true virtue of commitment. And is this because of my weakness? No. It's because of my own falsly perceived strength! Is this a paradoxal concept? YES! Indeed it is! however, many of the truths in life are paradoxes.
It is said that Man is less than the dust of the earth, and in this i find joy and sorrw. "Why? I'm pretty cool aren't I?" Yes, you are cool Kyle, but still less than the dust of the earth. And when I truly realize this I can find the peace, which contasins this truth: If I am nothing, what could i ever do to screw up? Nothing. I can't do anything enough to destroy anything irreperably, I can always turn back.
Now, I'm supposed to say this: "In service you shall truly be humble, and this is to be made humble. By the work of your hands ye become the work in the Master's hands" and why not? our greatest humility and therefore greatest power is in the times when it is not about us, but about them and us together in service.
So, this next month, I'm going to be humble, yep, and I'm going to pray for it...and hard too, and He will answer my prayers, and this I know.
It is said that Man is less than the dust of the earth, and in this i find joy and sorrw. "Why? I'm pretty cool aren't I?" Yes, you are cool Kyle, but still less than the dust of the earth. And when I truly realize this I can find the peace, which contasins this truth: If I am nothing, what could i ever do to screw up? Nothing. I can't do anything enough to destroy anything irreperably, I can always turn back.
Now, I'm supposed to say this: "In service you shall truly be humble, and this is to be made humble. By the work of your hands ye become the work in the Master's hands" and why not? our greatest humility and therefore greatest power is in the times when it is not about us, but about them and us together in service.
So, this next month, I'm going to be humble, yep, and I'm going to pray for it...and hard too, and He will answer my prayers, and this I know.
Monday, July 19, 2010
"Why am I going through this?"
It seems to me that the more I experience the more I can help other people. That sounds obvious doesn't it? well, this saygobedo is not about my own experience (although it relates to it), but rather my mom's. Yesterday she took an hour or two off from her insane and frantic schedule of cleaning for a home show this Friday to go an get a massage from a local woman. This woman is quite the kindly sort, she is a single mother and is going through quite a few trials herself, all quite unique to her life, but along the same lines of many situations faced by this Cheryl Church. The say go be do in this case is over a long period of time; years and years even. As each day when my mom was going through being a single mother, depression, 4 kids, and a family situation that is one of the most entertaining stories that I have ever heard in my life (but, keep in mind, even tragedies are entertaining). There were many days when "give up" was her first thought which came to mind, but "keep going" was the saygobedo that she followed. Years of this went by for my mom, and eventually life became as bright as she made it, a near perfect contrast to her young single mother days (she is a beautiful woman, and I adore her).
This young masseuse needed that example, and my mother's listening ear and compassionate heart to make it through her life now, as my mother needed people like that then. Everyday, the very first thought we have could determine our path. Will we give up, or will we keep going? will we face the darkness and choose to BE bright and hopeful despite a hopeless view of the situation? Or is it going to BE a hanging head which guides us?
My life, and countless others have been permanently affected by what she chose to be, each an every day. In this case it was a loving mother, but what about in ours? I wonder...
This young masseuse needed that example, and my mother's listening ear and compassionate heart to make it through her life now, as my mother needed people like that then. Everyday, the very first thought we have could determine our path. Will we give up, or will we keep going? will we face the darkness and choose to BE bright and hopeful despite a hopeless view of the situation? Or is it going to BE a hanging head which guides us?
My life, and countless others have been permanently affected by what she chose to be, each an every day. In this case it was a loving mother, but what about in ours? I wonder...
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Apologies
I find that whenever the thought comes to mind to apologize it means it really is time to. You know the struggles of it, but you can get past those, because it's time.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Resistance and redemption
"With great power comes great responsibility" -Uncle Ben
"He who [acts] against the greater light receives the greater condemnation"-God
Last night when I returned home from a day out with my buddy T-Bone (Andy) my mom said that there are people in the motel who were looking for me, like ME in particular, like they asked for "Kyle," whihc blew my mind and I was very humbled and nervous becuase of it. SO it turns out that it was a couple and their daughter who had been out here a month ago and stayed at the motel. When they were here before I just felt like talking to them about their son and family (not even a saygobedo, but just a forcive habit of kindness) and they lit up, and after the conversation they took off back to Cali and out of my life. Well this couple was the very couple who wanted to talk to me last night.
I went straight down there and they were less than fully dressed (Whoops) and were like "hey Kyle :-)" (<--that's a direct quote by the way) and then they said they remembered talking to me a month ago about their sojn. Well their surfshop manager son on the Pacific Coast Highway had sent with them a shirt from the shop as a gift to me. I was so humbled and grateful, I don't even know this guy! And this couple did all the foot work.
This morning I knew I'd see them when I was out working, and I wanted to say HI and ask them about their daughter they left out here for a month. Well, for like a half an hour they were near their car loading it and I felt to go and talk to them again. I didn't do it, just kept putting it off. Eventually they drove away. I felt horrible, becuase I KNEW i should do that. This is indicative of my experiences with saygobedo all the time, the more I act on it, the better I feel. The less I do, the more i condemn myself for submitting to apprehension about some unknowable result. However, Even if i hold off, I cn still create an amazing experience out of any situation, because the two thinkgs that I know will never change are that agency is sovereign, and that change is neverending. So even if I didn't choose to change before, I can do so now, and in the next success lies my redemption from the fear.
It's a beautiful world isn't it? And my new shirt's pretty fly too.
"He who [acts] against the greater light receives the greater condemnation"-God
Last night when I returned home from a day out with my buddy T-Bone (Andy) my mom said that there are people in the motel who were looking for me, like ME in particular, like they asked for "Kyle," whihc blew my mind and I was very humbled and nervous becuase of it. SO it turns out that it was a couple and their daughter who had been out here a month ago and stayed at the motel. When they were here before I just felt like talking to them about their son and family (not even a saygobedo, but just a forcive habit of kindness) and they lit up, and after the conversation they took off back to Cali and out of my life. Well this couple was the very couple who wanted to talk to me last night.
I went straight down there and they were less than fully dressed (Whoops) and were like "hey Kyle :-)" (<--that's a direct quote by the way) and then they said they remembered talking to me a month ago about their sojn. Well their surfshop manager son on the Pacific Coast Highway had sent with them a shirt from the shop as a gift to me. I was so humbled and grateful, I don't even know this guy! And this couple did all the foot work.
This morning I knew I'd see them when I was out working, and I wanted to say HI and ask them about their daughter they left out here for a month. Well, for like a half an hour they were near their car loading it and I felt to go and talk to them again. I didn't do it, just kept putting it off. Eventually they drove away. I felt horrible, becuase I KNEW i should do that. This is indicative of my experiences with saygobedo all the time, the more I act on it, the better I feel. The less I do, the more i condemn myself for submitting to apprehension about some unknowable result. However, Even if i hold off, I cn still create an amazing experience out of any situation, because the two thinkgs that I know will never change are that agency is sovereign, and that change is neverending. So even if I didn't choose to change before, I can do so now, and in the next success lies my redemption from the fear.
It's a beautiful world isn't it? And my new shirt's pretty fly too.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Study
It seems to me that my study lately (which has taken up quite a bit of my free time, and has even acted as an excuse for me to not write on my blog which I hae loved for so very long :-) has been the greatest form of service I have had! For instance, the other ady I spent an entire afternoon reflecting on, studying, and searching for answers on the topic of agency in realtion to knowledge. I did this specifically for the purpose of using it to teach others the power that we have is naturally magnified by the amount of knowledge we have. A friend out of nowhere asked me about my thoughts on this issue "well I happened to study it ALL day, here's what I think"
Not too long after taht another friend asked me how he cn better prepare for a mission, or at least my thoughts on it. I had the opportunity to teach him that the greatest power to help a person in that way is through conviction wrought by personal experience with the subject; a lesson recently pounded into my heart again and again. and then today I felt like I should go on facebook and post a status, and lo and behold three amazing people said "Thank you" and "this is what I needed today."
What a great lesson for me to have hammered into me, that my study is best for me when I put it to use in helping other people! Yeah woo yea!
Not too long after taht another friend asked me how he cn better prepare for a mission, or at least my thoughts on it. I had the opportunity to teach him that the greatest power to help a person in that way is through conviction wrought by personal experience with the subject; a lesson recently pounded into my heart again and again. and then today I felt like I should go on facebook and post a status, and lo and behold three amazing people said "Thank you" and "this is what I needed today."
What a great lesson for me to have hammered into me, that my study is best for me when I put it to use in helping other people! Yeah woo yea!
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